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Monthly Archive for June, 2013

Zero

Zero

That is the number staring back at me from my answering machine of 7+ years.  From mid-2009 until yesterday afternoon, that number has been at least two.  Maybe five or ten or twelve, but at least two.  Always two.  I kept the last two answering machine messages my dad left us before he passed away on June 26, 2009, and how I wish I had kept more.  In the last two messages he doesn’t sound like his usual upbeat self because he wasn’t.  But it was his voice.  Weaker, softer, more tired and worn down.  But it was his voice.  I haven’t listened to the messages but once or twice since he left them, and I cannot honestly tell you what the subject matter was.  But I had his voice.  Recorded.  In my house.  And had I wanted to, I could have pushed the button to hear him any time.  And my clumsy fingers accidentally deleted them yesterday.

We have been out of town for a long weekend and I was going through our missed calls.  The kids were babbling in the kitchen while they had their afternoon snack and there was one message I could not get down fully.  I had the guys name and number but I could not, after four listens, figure out where he said he was calling from.  Of course this guy was the last message on the machine and I missed the two second time span I had to repeat him before the message ended, so I had to play all messages and skip through them all to get back to his.  My stupid right index finger punched “delete” through all the messages instead of the “forward skip”, which is the button directly next to the delete.  I realized it as I deleted the random guy’s messages and my voicemail man said “you have no more messages” and then popped that little red zero onto the screen.  I swear I felt my heart stop and lurch around in my chest at that moment when I realized what I had done.  I couldn’t breathe.  It was no one’s fault but my own, even though I mentally cursed the placement of the delete and skip buttons.  I cried a bit and called my husband to tell him what I did.  He, too, was accustomed to the little red number two.  Sort of checking to make sure it was still there whenever we passed my the machine in the kitchen.

I will tell you that we have a videotaped interview of my dad.  My brother, sister and I decided to conduct an interview of dad before he got too sick.  The year he was diagnosed and treated my sister-in-law and I were both pregnant with and gave birth to the first three of his grandsons.  We wanted to remember him, we wanted our children and future children to see him, hear his jokes and voice, see his smile and listen as my brother conducted what turned into a multi-hour interview.  I have not watched it.  I’m not there yet, but it makes me happy that we thought to do that and that he was such a good sport about it, while knowing our reasons behind the unusual request.

I had 10, 530 days with daddy.  Another number that will never get any bigger, but each of those 10, 530 days were a treasure.  And the number of memories I have from those days surpasses the highest number I can count to!

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Well, fancy meeting you here!

Well, fancy meeting you here!

Geez, y’all, I am a bad bad bad girl.  I have been away from my poor little blog for what…5 months?!  But I slacked off when “THE Wedding” shenanigannery picked up pace.  “THE Wedding” I am referring to was my little sister’s and her new hubby’s over Mother’s Day weekend and my house was one of the HQ’s for all invitation addressing/stuffing/favor making/gift receiving as well as a makeshift B&B for my sister and a bridesmaid.

My already limited free time during naps and after the kids go to bed (when I would normally play with blog entries or putter around the house) was filled with anything and everything I could help my mom or sister with.  Preschool mornings had wedding appointments scheduled, my email inbox was so filled with correspondence from so many vendors I made a separate folder for it all so I could stay organized.  And beginning in early April, every single weekend was booked until wedding time!  It has been madness!  Sparkly, satin-y, lace-y, monogram-y madness!  And it was all oh so fun!

I will seriously have to go back through my day planner to see what events occurred between January and May so I can fill you in, but I’ve been so swamped, I can’t pick anything off the top of my head.  My boys’ preschool ended just over a week ago and we took a long Memorial Day weekend in New Jersey with my childhood bestie and her family, so we are just settling into the easier summer schedule.  Gym time for mommy in the mornings, playing outside (in the backyard, in my sis-in-law’s killer backyard, at one of many playgrounds we frequent), pool time in the afternoons, baths almost nightly to remove the sunscreen and bug spray from the day.

I am shaking my head in amazement as our summer calendar is filling up already with gymnastics camps, preschool camps, swim lessons (gotta get rid of the floaties!!), birthdays, a tropical wedding getaway for the hubbs & myself, beach time, mountain time…our travel schedule is made up for the rest of 2013 I think and I have two known events in 2014 and one in 2015…Seriously, I’m such an OCD planner…please don’t abandon me – I admit my problem!  But it’s good to plan and be organized, right?  I just ordered our youngest son’s party invitations tonight and I confirmed date/time/locations for both boys’ parties in the past few days – one in August, one in October.  I repeat – I.  Love.  To.  Plan.

I hope to get back on track and keep up with all the special little things that make up our summertime as a family.  For now, happy end of spring friends!  Hope to see you back here again soon!

Me, my sister and my sister-in-law.  Little sister wore our mom’s wedding dress for the rehearsal =D

My brother was asked to walk little sis down the aisle, and also instead of dancing with her for the father/daughter dance he surprised her with a serenade of a favorite song.

The gorgeous, happy couple

The “E & C” initials and monogram were a running theme from the invitation design, the personalized Herend cake topper, the napkins, the gown detailing, the dance floor lighting…

Me and my sis-in-law/bestie.  Someone dubbed us “the sparkly watermelons”.

The stunning (and freaking delicious) cake!  I can give you pastry chef info if you message or email me!

Me and the woman I hope to become more and more as I grow up – my mommy!

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