So, here I sit, officially a mommy of two under two. Well…for another couple weeks anyway ~ Evan’s second birthday is quickly approaching!
But I’ve been thinking about balancing life with these two boys in our lives. People are asking “how are you, are you sleeping, how’s Evan doing with the new baby, are you finding balance in the new routine?” Well, I can answer: “fine, kinda, great and Hell No!” I think balance isn’t the right word perhaps. We have a little schedule, things I try to incorporate into the days for Evan and Zeb. Certain regularities they can count on, but everything in between is different ~a bit chaotic, but I’m making it work for me and for us as a family unit. I think that’s what mom’s do – we make it work.
My already limited “me time” is just about gone. I try to finish a long email to my best friend since grade school who has moved far away and the computer freezes on me before I can hit send. Bastard computer. I’m ready to put kiddos in the car to meet the hubby for dinner and big little man poops in his diaper as we are walking out the door. I go to the store for bread so we can make sandwiches for lunch and walk out with 2 bags full of stuff, but don’t realize I forgot the darn bread till we get home and end up running to McD’s to get the child some chicken nuggets and apple slices since mommy is an idiot. I am too exhausted to get up at 6 to shower before both boys wake up, so I spend 30 minutes of the precious, quiet afternoon naptime showering when I wish I were snoozing, too, but I’d rather give up my nap to shower & dry my hair and not smell like feet for the rest of the day. My husband and I will get takeout food for us because I don’t feel like cooking (Thai, Chinese, Taco Bell….) but we’ll still fix Evan something good and sit at the kitchen table to eat dinner together. No. It’s not balanced. Life as a mommy is completely lopsided. But you do what you gotta do and make it work.
I feel bad for letting Evan watch cartoons while I nurse, but it keeps him calm and happy for 20 minutes and that’s what I need, so it it so bad? I leave an Elmo movie on in the bedroom while I clean the kitchen or fold laundry so he can run back and forth…I promise him bubble baths or a trip to the grocery store to see the lobsters if he helps mommy with something…bribery – yes. Good intentions – yes, also. At least he’s got preschool a couple days a week and has time to be around friends and activities that are different from what we do together. I am also so thankful that Zeb is as mellow and chill as he is. He’s an excellent eater, an absolute pro at nursing and quite efficient so it doesn’t take us that long per feeding. and he sleeps like a dream (in comparison to his brother at the same age) at night so generally I feel fairly human in the mornings, though I will admit to having become a “coffee person” over the last 6 weeks. Caffeine in my breast milk? Yes. But not that much, so I don’t freak out about it. Zeb is happy, portable, and Evan adores him (for now!!) and it’s pretty easy to maintain daily daily activities and outings, though my time schedule for prep work is much longer now, but I’m learning & adjusting, and it’s ok! We’re making it work for us.
I look at my brother and his wife (my best friend since the two of them met), and their twin boys ~ a completely different schedule than us…twin boys who are almost 17 months old and very different than one another. One sleeps well at night one still does not. I know it makes them nuts, as well as being very very tired, but they go out and do things when everyone is rested and happy, and their outing times don’t necessarily match up with ours all that frequently, but it works for them!
So to “balance” I say YEAH RIGHT!
I’m just doing what’s right for my family and making it work!